Book Reviews | Salt to the Sea by Ruta Sepetys


Being the true to form introvert that I am, books have always been something I’ve taken solace in when times were tough. They’ve made me laugh harder than you’d ever expect, they’ve made me sob uncontrollably, they’ve made me rethink my entire world view, and everything in-between. There’s something really special about the fact that some words on a page can evoke such an intense response from a reader, on so many different levels. I read more than most of the people I know, but I don’t feel like you need to read a lot in order to enjoy books and be absorbed in the stories that are waiting to be read. And because of that, I always recommend that my friends read book reviews before picking a book up, to get a feel for what they are reading. I am always quick to offer my thoughts on a book when anyone asks. Its so discouraging for people to pick up a book, only to find that it doesn’t suit them or isn’t an enjoyable experience, particularly for people that may not read often. That is why I’ve decided to share my thoughts on some of the books I read on this blog. I’ve never properly reviewed a book before, at least not through the written word, but I can assure you that all of the thoughts and feelings expressed in these reviews will be my own, and that they will ALWAYS be spoiler free, unless otherwise noted in the title of the post. Without further ado, here are my thoughts on Salt to the Sea by Ruta Sepetys.


“In 1945, World War II is drawing to a close in East Prussia and thousands of refugees are on a desperate trek toward freedom, almost all of them with something to hide. Among them are Joana, Emilia, and Florian, whose paths converge en route to the ship that promises salvation, the Wilhelm Gustloff. Forced by circumstance to unite, the three find their strength, courage, and trust in each other tested with each step closer toward safety. Just when it seems freedom is within their grasp, tragedy strikes. Not country, nor culture, nor status matter as all ten thousand people aboard must fight for the same thing: survival.
A tribute to the people of Lithuania, Poland, and East Prussia, Ruta Sepetys unearths a shockingly little-known casualty of a gruesome war, and proves that humanity can prevail, even in the darkest of hours.” – Ruta Sepetys

Long story short, I loved this book. It was everything I wanted it to be and more. I rated it 4.5/5 stars. This book was thrilling, beautiful, gripping, and perfectly told. This was one of those books that stuck with me. I kept thinking about the story and the characters, well after the last page was finished. Ruta Sepetys has this way of embedding her words into your mind and almost compelling you to think about them, and that’s something I really appreciate in an author. Even more so in a historical fiction author. It’s quite easy for writers to get wrapped up in the research side of historical fiction, and some novels can start to get a bit fuzzy, bending itself into feeling more like a textbook than an enjoyable read, and I was thankful that this did not happen with Salt to the Sea. This book pulled you in, it told you the facts of the situation but it also made you feel them. I hadn’t learned much about the voyage of the Wilhelm Gustloff in school or otherwise, so this was something new for me. The real life events surrounding the Wilhelm Gustloff are incredibly tragic, and this book details them tastefully and beautifully, but it is not a depressing story. It doesn’t leave you feeling worn out and upset, even though the events are quite sad. Instead you feel a sense of love and are able to connect with the characters that Ruta has provided. The characters are incredible as well, not just on the character development side, which is fantastic, but just the range of characters is really special. There are a variety of characters of different ages and backgrounds, and you’re able to connect to all four of our main characters effortlessly, and view the story from so many different angles.

World War II is a topic that is discussed a lot in historical fiction novels, but this book sets itself apart. It touches on events that are less prominent in the genre, and it pulls you in deep, into the inner workings of the characters within the story, in a way that most other novels of its kind simply haven’t succeeded in. Once you’ve closed this book, you will cry. You will smile. You will feel like you’ve learned something. This book will impact you in a way you may not expect it to, and you will be eagerly awaiting Ruta Sepetys’ next book just as much as the rest of us are.

I Fell in Love with Austin, Texas on the Fourth of July


Sometimes you visit a city, and you just know. You get that little voice in the back of your mind telling you “this is a place I could stay”, or “this is somewhere I belong”. Austin gave me those thoughts, and I just knew. But let me start from the beginning…

One day, in the middle of April, I was sitting at my desk trudging on through the work day, wishing I was somewhere else, when I had an epiphany; I should take a mini vacation. Then it came down to deciding where to go, simple enough, right? Wrong. Being in the center of the country means that my options are incredibly limited, and unlimited, all at the same time. I can take a plane heading anywhere in the country in a relatively small amount of time, and I can take plenty of road trips, but most of the “desirable” places to go in the scorching heat of the summer (i.e., the beach, for obvious reasons) are quite far away. Now I’m the queen of road trips, so per usual, I opted for that, then looked at the map and just chose. Just like that. Austin, Texas is it was. My family vacationed in Texas often when I was young, so the idea of venturing there on my own this year felt comfortable and inviting. So, I grabbed a friend, and off we went!


Driving from Kansas City to Austin wasn’t the MOST pleasant of things, but I think making that whole drive down, through the construction, traffic, and holiday travelers made driving into the city that much sweeter. I was more excited than I ever would have expected to be when I realized we were about to *finally* make our way into town. I even pulled off the road, just to capture the moment for myself, and you as well, I suppose. For anyone familiar with the city, we stayed just off East Cesar Chavez, and it was a hipster’s paradise, let me tell you. I loved it.

We were only there for the weekend, so I didn’t get the chance to do many of the things I had hoped, but I still had an amazing time. Our first stop was visiting the Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library, and explored for quite a while. I genuinely enjoyed learning so much about his presidency, the good and not so good parts alike. I’m someone that loves learning as much as possible about history, and this was something new for me to dig into. The library itself was quite astounding, walking up the steps towards it was a special experience all on its own, without factoring in the beautifully put together LBJ Museum that accompanied it.


After we were satisfied with our exploration there, we decided to visit the capitol building. For any of you that may not know, or may be from a different country, in the US, we have our Nation’s Capitol in Washington D.C., but each individual state has it’s own Capitol as well. Austin happens to be the state Capitol of Texas, so the (absolutely beautiful) Texas State Capitol Building is here as well. We took quite a long walk around the grounds, and had a bit of a wander through the interior of the building as well. My favorite part, however, was simply sitting on a bench, near the front of the building, all by my lonesome. Having a tea and taking it all in, that’s what I do best.


From there, we simply explored. For the next two days, I ate more Tex-Mex than anyone should ever eat, I grew to feel like I was a part of a new place and a new city. I went grocery shopping, I laid by the river and read a book, I chatted with strangers in a bar; I completely immersed myself if the daily life of this city, and I think thats’s what made this trip so special for me. It felt like I was visiting a home away from home, and I was genuinely sad when it came to an end.


I may have single handedly eaten all of the avocados in Austin, and I’m not even sure I’m exaggerating.


One of my favorite moments was sitting by the river watching the sun go down around the city. I think this will be a memory I keep close for a long time.


One of the things I admired most about Austin was the graffiti, which might sound strange to some people. But Austin is filled with beautiful, inspiring, and interesting graffiti. The city just seems like an even more special place after seeing how many people have made their mark here in such a positive way.


I spent a surprising amount of time in this backyard whilst I was there. The house I rented had a beautiful backyard with a comfy seating area to relax in. I definitely made use of it, particularly the incredibly comfy lounge chairs, they were perfect for reading and relaxing. These popsicles were absolutely scrumptious by the way, check out GoodPop if you’re able to get your hands on them. They’re all natural, and are honestly the most delicious frozen fruit pops I’ve ever had. I’m feeling serious withdrawal symptoms at the moment.

The final day, before we had to wake up and make our way home, was the Fourth of July. Celebrating Independence Day in Texas is not something new for me, I’ve done it a few times in my life with my family, but this was a whole new experience for me. We went fairly early in the afternoon to secure a seat near the water to watch the fireworks over the city. I expected that there would be a lot of people, and Austin didn’t disappoint me there, but what I wasn’t expecting was how much I would love getting to know all the people that happened to be sitting around me. I arrived with one friend, and left with dozens, and it made me so much more in love with the city, and so much more pleased with the trip itself.

I had a few drinks, set off a few sparklers, and chatted with more people than I have in the past month, all in one night. The fireworks were stunning, the atmosphere was incredible, and it was the perfect ending to a much needed get away.




I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx

Sleepy Sundays | Don’t call it a comeback


So, we meet again, you cute little blog you. I’ve missed this, I really have. Sometimes you forget how good something simple like this can feel, just releasing all your thoughts onto a screen, letting anyone that’s willing read everything you’ve decided to share. Life gets in the way, I’m sure you know how it goes. But today, after so much time away, I’m back. Will I stick with it? Make time for something I enjoy in life for once? Who knows, but I appreciate each and every one of you that kept following me, even as I was away for months on end. You’re beautiful and I love you.

Now, with all of that out of the way, let’s chat. After all, that’s what I always wanted to do with this blog. I wanted to get my thoughts out of my head, and written down on paper, even if that was through a keyboard on a public forum. I wanted to talk to people, interact with them, learn from them, get to know them, and become friends with them. So let me just ask, how are you? How are things going? I’m doing well. Things are going okay I suppose, all things considered. Nothing too exciting has happened in my life since we last talked. It may have even grown just a little more monotonous since then, if that’s possible. I’ve fallen into a routine; get up, go to work, come home, go to sleep, and repeat. Monday through Friday, this is my life. I wish I were able to switch it up, to add a little spice to my life. How do you do it? How do you keep your life exciting? Please, share your secrets with me Senpai.

The most exciting thing that happened to me this weekend was when my Amazon order arrived yesterday, containing a new Electric Kettle and some cupboard organizers for all of my tea; who knew life could be filled with so much excitement?! I know I didn’t! All joking aside, I was sincerely thrilled to open up my new kettle, but I digress. Maybe I’m just in a rut? That’s possible I suppose. Or maybe it’s because my birthday is just a few short weeks away, and I’m beginning to feel the pressure that comes along with it. I’ll be 23, which may not sound old or important, but there is a lot of pressure coming along with this birthday. My parent’s think I should be settled down with that “perfect someone”, thinking about getting married and starting a family, my friends think I should already be finished with college and moved into my own place, partying it up. When in reality, I’m 22, living at home, single, fighting to finish this bachelors degree, and working a full-time job that brings no joy or excitement to my life, and chasing Pokemon in my spare time. Oh goodness, this is turning into a very “woe is me” sort of post. I need to change things up, turn it around.

Maybe I should share some things that make me happy, who knows, maybe that will pull me out of this little funk I seem to be in at the moment.

One seemingly unusual thing that always makes me happy is a strange one to describe. I suppose its essentially just the wind, but it’s much more than that to me. I love that feeling, when you’re sitting outside on a slightly cooler night, in-between the summer heat and the autumn chill, reading or just watching the world go by, when the wind sweeps across your face and you feel completely calm and safe, even if just for a moment. It makes me so happy to know that moments like that exist.


My cat is also another point of sheer happiness for me. I mean, just look at her! Look at that face! She has this way of knowing when I need her. She’s always so quick to come and snuggle with me when I’m feeling down, or ill, or upset. Even when she’s being obnoxious, or irritating, she still has a way of making me feel so genuinely happy, all the way to my core, no matter what. For instance, she is currently laying on my chest, partially blocking my access to the keyboard on my laptop, and just being a general pain, and I still smile like a fool each time I look down at her sweet little face snuggled up against my arm.

As much as my family has a tendency to be a bit overbearing and hard to handle, I’m still filled with happiness each time I remember how lucky I am to have them. After the horrible events in France, TexasMinnesota, Louisiana, Turkey, and so many more these past few weeks, I’m feeling even luckier than usual to have my family, and to know that I have people out there to fall back on and lean on when things get tough. They are all absolutely insane, pushy, and ridiculous, but I couldn’t imagine my life without them.

Lastly, one of the things that makes me happiest; daydreaming. I’ve always loved the fact that we’ve all got this ability, this superpower, to transport ourselves to another time or place in our own minds. We’re all equipped with our own mental T.A.R.D.I.S, if you will. If I’m unhappy, or feeling stuck, or sad, or anything in between, I can simply imagine that my life will take a different turn in the future, or imagine that I’ve stumbled into a new place, or just lay back, and let my daydreams guide me. There’s no limit to the amount of things I can accomplish in a daydream. No one cares how I look in a daydream. There’s no body shaming, there’s no cruelty, and there’s no fear. It’s a completely pure space, untainted by the outside world, and it is one of my biggest sources of happiness.

And with that my friends, this Sleepy Sunday post has come to a close, and I’ll have to drag myself out of bed to start my day. My tea is gone and my cup is dry. I hope you enjoyed reading this ramble that I’ve decided to put out onto the internet, and that you found something to take with you from it. Whether that be something life changing, like learning your daydreams are a T.A.R.D.I.S, or simply just the memory of how adorable my cat is, I hope you’ve had a lovely few moments here with me.

Please feel free to leave me a comment and chat with me, or check out the “Contact Me” page to send me an email. I would love to hear from you and get to know you.

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx




Banned Books Week | Celebrating the Freedom to Read

Banned Books Week

If I’m honest, the whole idea of censorship drives me crazy. But censoring books? That one, I’ll never understand.

I don’t know if I can even begin to explain to you how important books are, and always have been, in my life and in my heart. Books were my escape as a child. Books taught me all the things I didn’t learn at home or at school. Friendship. Hardship. Love. Fear. Excitement. Magic. Lust. Anger. Sadness. Companionship. Books taught me that I would never be alone, as long as I was able to pick one of them up and immerse myself in the world that the author had created for me. There is an endless list of things that books have introduced me to over the years, and there’s no way for me to explain how grateful I am for that.

It seems though, that there will always be people that feel the need to challenge that. People that think they know what the youth of the world should be reading and what words they should be consuming. How dare young people read about sexual situations? Or violence? Or racially charged moments? Or various religious viewpoints? Sexual orientation that isn’t heterosexual? Witchcraft or magic? How dare authors put those things into words? We must challenge and ban those books! Put a stop to them! At least that’s what the various parents, teachers, politicians, and board members seem to think.

In those regards, we must also ban the news, right? And most television shows. And political debates, we can’t have those things popping up and tainting the minds of our youth, can we? Most art should go, right? Quite a bit of nudity in those silly old paintings and statues. And all education should cease in regards to the civil rights movement and things of that nature, can’t have kids hearing of racism, can we?

I hope I’m making it clear how absurd I find this whole thing to be. Banning books on the grounds of things like racism, sexual situations, political viewpoints, the presence of witchcraft, encouragement of “damaging” lifestyles, or violence has never, and will never make sense to me. What will shielding children from these achieve? Are these things that children won’t see or hear on television, in their day to day lives, etc?

Banning books is disgraceful and insulting really, to the intelligence and consciousness of the youth that they are trying to “shield”.

Banned Books Week should be important to all of us. Even if you never experienced that censorship first hand, you should still push for future generations to have the freedom to read and explore. To learn and understand. To be introduced to things in a safe and enlightening way, rather than the harsh realities of the real world. Let them read about depression. Let them understand it. Give them the freedom to explore sexuality. Help them understand it. Make the classics available to them, so they can see the words that helped shape the world around them. Treat them as intelligent and comprehending beings, and maybe they’ll have a better chance of growing up as such.

Parents, teachers, religious organizations, and political organizations alike, have tried to take so many pieces of literature away from the youth of the world. Catcher in the Rye. The Harry Potter Series. The Hunger Games Series. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. The Perks of Being a Wallflower. The Kite Runner. The Great Gatsby. To Kill a Mockingbird. The Lord of the Rings. I think it’s clear that some of these people mean well in their efforts, but I don’t believe that any good has or will ever come of it.

Authors like Maya Angelou, John Green, Kurt Vonnegut, Stephen King, Judy Blume, J.K. Rowling and infinitely more have had their books challenged or banned at one time or another, all in the name of censorship.

This is why Banned Books Week matters.

Please, take some time to read and understand what is happening, and why it’s happening, and decide if you would like to stand up for the future of literature.

I believe it is important for the younger generations to have a chance to learn, dream, and understand, while they’re still able, and I feel that Books are able to give them that chance.

To learn more about Banned Books Week, you can visit the American Library Association’s site dedicated to the Office of Intellectual Freedom of the ALA or any of these other wonderful sites.
Some blog posts I’ve read recently that helped inspire me to put my opinion out there and join the conversation;
The Rambler, Illinois College,“Banned Books Week”
Nathan Biberdorf, “We Must Indeed All Band Together, Or Most Assuredly, We Will All Be Banned Separately”
Lady Jane,“Banned Books Week Challenge”
Kateywrites,“#RaisingReaders Monday: fREADom”

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx

New to my blog? Why not read a bit about me; Like how I love Doctor Who, or what I would say to my Future Husband if I knew who that person was, or take a look back at various points in my life in my post about my birthday last month? Or, you know, do what ever you’d like.🙂

12 Autumnal Goals


Earlier this year, I did a post entitled “20 Summer Goals” where I listed, you guessed it, 20 goals that I wanted to complete over the summer. I didn’t make it through all the goals, but I made it through some of them, and I honestly had a really good time doing it. Making that list gave me something to look forward to over the summer that helped me look past the burning heat and the long days. After the summer, I wasn’t planning to make any more goals for myself or anything like that, but this morning I felt really inspired to do it. I think it may just become a habit for me, to give myself inspiration to get out and do things throughout each part of the year rather than getting stuck in a rut and letting the year pass me by without taking advantage of all of it. All of the photos throughout this post were taken in or around Grand Marais, Minnesota. Grand Marais is my favorite place to be in the Autumn. Just looking at these pictures brings back so many wonderful memories that I’ve made there over the years, and it felt quite fitting to put a few of them in this post filled with inspiration for myself.

1. Go to a pumpkin patch.

2. Go apple picking.

3. Bake something new.


4. Carve pumpkins.

5. Go on a walk/hike in 3 new places.

6. Watch 5 scary movies.


7. Read 6 new books, in at least 3 different genres.

8. Go on an adventure.

9. Work on more photography.


10. Write at least 1 blog post each week, if not more.

11. Put myself out there more, let more people in.

12. Explore the city, and document it.

As you can see, some of these goals are ones that I can (and hopefully will!) blog, and others aren’t, but the ones that are blogable, are the ones I’m most excited about. Some of these goals are the most standard of things. Things that people say they want to do every time Fall rolls around. Cliches. But that fact aside, they are all things that I haven’t done since I was a little kid, and I really want to try and do them again. I want to make memories, because when it comes down to it, memories are all that matter. And if there ever comes a time when I can’t remember these things anymore, I like to think I’ll be able to come back to this blog, and relive these moments.

So here is me, wishing myself good luck in completing each one of these goals. I hope you will enjoy sharing these moments with me, and if you yourself decide to create your own goals this Fall, please let me know or tag me in them so I can follow along with you! I hope it can give you inspiration and help you create memories of your own.

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx

20 Summer Goals | Watercolor Wonders


Okay, yes, summer has come and gone, and while I did fulfill many of those goals that I shared with all of you in my earlier post, I just didn’t seem to capture them all and share them with you. So for one last time this year, I wanted to share one more of my Summer Goals with you.

This one may have been my favorite. I’ve always loved art. Growing up all I wanted to do was color, paint, and create. Maybe that’s why I’ve fallen so in love with writing. It’s my way of creating something and sharing it with people. But I fell into that trap of thinking that “I’m just not good at art doing art”. I think a lot of people think of creating things or being artistic as some sort of competition. Like you have to be amazing at it to do it, and if you aren’t, then you shouldn’t even try to create things. Or thinking that because someone else is better than you are, that you shouldn’t even try to create things. But through this little water color journey of mine, I’ve realized (although, this is something I’ve understood for a while) that it doesn’t take skill or a special talent to create. All it takes is you. And your imagination. Being creative is a part of life that everyone should partake in. Its not a competition, its not just for the wildly talented. Creativity is a right that no one can take away. Creativity is about passion, and happiness. Creativity is about letting your mind and your thoughts do what they want to do, rather than always thinking it through to every last little detail. Creativity is an essential part of life.

Creativity is intelligence having fun.Albert Einstein 

When I first started in with watercolor painting, I tried to really learn it. Learn the techniques, the skills, the whole process. But I quickly learned that I didn’t fully enjoy it that way. I created many beautiful paintings, from lighthouses, to beaches, to flower arrangements, but through out those projects, it all felt like work. I had to pay attention to what I was doing, I had to focus, and I had to try incredibly hard. It was easy to see that it wasn’t my thing.


Eventually, I put away the YouTube tutorials, sat down outside in my backyard, and just painted. I didn’t realize how much I could love just sitting down with my paint brushes just splattering paint around on paper. No thoughts about what I would be painting, or what techniques needed to be used to achieve it. I don’t enjoy making those things, as much as I enjoy these little pages full of messy patches of color.


Now, after making dozens of these colorful, blob filled creations, I had to figure out if anything could be done with them. As much as I enjoy them, and enjoy the process of making them, they aren’t exactly “frame worthy”. But as I was walking through the card aisle of Target, I realized that I had a use for all of them, one that would add an extra personal touch to everything that I do. If this were a cartoon, the little light bulb would have lit up on top of my head. Cards. I could make cards out of these silly little paintings and add an extra personal touch to all the little things that I like to do.


I love to give cards for all sorts of occasions. When someone is sick, when someone’s birthday rolls around, etc,. But one thing I always do, is send Thank You cards. So that’s what I made for this post. This little thank you card is for all of you reading this, and for all my internet friends that follow this blog and send me emails checking on how I’m doing and just generally chatting with me. It has been so fun starting this blog, just the enjoyment that I’ve gotten out of writing alone would have made it the best thing I’ve done all year, but the friendships I’ve made, and the support I’ve gotten, have all made this into something that I don’t want to give up. So thank you, you lovely people you.

I hope all of you can find some way to be creative, even if you’re not great at it, as long as you’re doing it, that’s all that matters. There is no wrong way to be creative.

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx

Somehow I fell off the blogging bandwagon. I have many things to blame for my lapse in posts; full-time course load, full-time work load, quarter-life crisis, etc,. The list could go on and on, as it could for everyone I suppose. But I wanted to get back into things. This is almost therapeutic for me. Writing down my thoughts, sharing them with all of you. Its nice. So I’m going to do my best to regain that spark, if you don’t mind of course, and what better to start with than another Summer Goals post? Although this is the final Summer Goals post of the year, I can assure you, that I have some things in-store for this blog that I am truly excited about, so I hope you come along with me on the continuation of my little blogging journey.❤

Sleepy Sundays | I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22

My brother and I, at my first birthday, August 7th, 1994.  Yes, I still eat cake that way.
My brother and I, at my first birthday, August 7th, 1994.
Yes, I still eat cake that way.

Birthdays. What can you say about them really? Some people love them and some people hate them, but I for one, fall into the “love” group wholeheartedly (for the most part). I am not someone that dreads getting older or has an existential crisis every time their birthday rolls around, but I am someone that does a lot of contemplating and thinking when this day comes back around each year.

I'm pretty sure I saw a girl leaving Starbucks wearing this exact sunflower dress yesterday. The baby version of me was such a trendsetter.
I’m pretty sure I saw a girl leaving Starbucks wearing this exact sunflower dress yesterday.
The baby version of me was such a trendsetter.

Friday, August 7th, was my birthday. I spent it with friends and family having one of my favorite meals, eating yummy cupcakes, enjoying more than a few cocktails, and reminiscing about life and all the birthdays I’ve celebrated before this one. Every year for at least the last 5 years or so, I sit down, and just think. I think about all the things I have or haven’t done this past year, I think about the chances I took and the ones I let slip by, I think of all the happy and sad times, and I think of what I expected life to be at this moment. I always have a clear picture of what I want my life to be and where I want to end up, and coming to terms with the fact that I have no control over those things is a tough one for me. Well, I wouldn’t say that I have absolutely no control, but there are many things that just happen how they are mean’t to in life, and there’s not much you can do about it.

This is still the face I make when someone asks me to "smile for the camera!"
This is still the face I make when someone asks me to “smile for the camera!”

In a perfect world* (from the point of view of a daydreaming, introverted, bookworm that has an intense love for adventure and smiles), I would be travelling right now. Making the most of my youth, exploring all the places I’ve written about on this blog and many, many more. I would be standing on top of a mountain in Greece, staring off into the ocean contently thinking about where I’ll go next and what places I want to see. I’d be writing every day, and putting it all out there for the world to see. I’d never worry about money or material things, because who needs that when you have so much to see and do in life? Books would never be far from my hands and a smile would never be far from my face. I’d be happy, in the purest sense of the word.

But it isn’t my perfect world. Instead, I’m a struggling student, working a full-time, at a supremely boring and mundane office job, while tackling a full-time course load. I’m stuck in midwestern Missouri in the middle of America, with no funds to get out. I’m drowning myself in student loan debt in hopes of giving myself a better future. I’m boyfriendless and single in a place where that is a rarity. I’m not fit and healthy, as I would so love to be. I’m not writing everyday or living out my passions and dreams. But one thing that I realized on my birthday this year, is that I am happy. In the purest sense of the word. And that is all that matters to me right now. I may not be where I’ve dreamt of being in life, but I’m happy. I’m meeting new people and making new friends all the time. I’m exploring my own city and creating my own adventures. I’m writing a lot more than I used to, even if all of that writing is still sitting in my drafts folder and hasn’t been posted here.

This is one of many football team related photoshoots that my parents forced upon me as a child. American parents and their sports, you can't get away from it.
This is one of many football team related photoshoots that my parents forced upon me as a child. American parents and their sports, you can’t get away from it.

This birthday has shown me that I don’t always need to be in control. I can still lead a happy life, even if it isn’t what I expected it to be. Even when I have hard days, and bad days, and even on those days where I just want to sit on the floor and cry from all the stress, it will all be worth it in the end, and it is all worth it right this moment, just for those days where I am filled with pure happiness.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the little glimpses into my life and child hood throughout this post with the random photographs I’ve decided to throw in. What’s a good birthday post without a little bit of a throw back.

I will leave you now, as I always should, with a quote from Harry Potter.

What’s comin’ will come, an’ we’ll meet it when it does. -Rubeus Hagrid, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, page 719

And now, at the very end, you get me, in my current state. Hair that somehow always manages to be untidy at all times, Superhero t-shirts, and a cat in the background.
And now, at the very end, you get me, in my current state. Hair that somehow always manages to be untidy at all times, Superhero t-shirts, and a cat in the background.

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx

Sleepy Sundays | The one where I talk about my insecurities


Like any human being, there are things I am insecure about. But the one I’m going to talk about today is my biggest insecurity of them all, even though I often put a brave face on about it; I have a thyroid condition. A newly diagnosed one at that. I know that it is something that is incredibly common in the world, and that many people are living with it every day, but it is hard for me. I’ve never gone through anything like this before. Usually I can push the insecurities and fears out of my mind, and make myself feel confident again, but then there are days like today, when it just doesn’t work.

As I’m laying here in bed on this hot and humid Sunday, I’ve been thinking about things and I felt the feeling bubbling up inside me. The feeling that I try to suppress. Sadness; sadness based solely on feeling insecure with the way I look now because of this illness.

I have hypothyroidism. I was diagnosed with it about a month ago, and I’m still learning just what it means. I’ve been told that it’s possible to find the right medication, and the right dosage to put things back in balance, and to help me look more like my old self, but my body will always be scarred from this, and I will never look exactly the same.

About a year ago, I started gaining weight, after no change in diet or anything to prompt a weight gain to go into motion. Once it began, I changed up my diet for healthier food, tried to work out more; anything and everything to combat the problem. Nothing helped. I just kept gaining and gaining and gaining weight, and my doctors didn’t see any need to check on anything or to see if there was another problem happening; not until about a month ago, when I came in weighing the most that I ever have in my entire life, and nearly in tears because I didn’t understand what was happening to me. It was only at that point that they ran some tests and figured out that I had Hypothyroidism.

As someone that knew nothing about it, and had never really heard of it, I was concerned. But rather than going on and on about the specifics of the illness, I’d rather just give you this link, and let you learn about it as you please. In truth, this post is less about the illness, and more about my feelings.

I’ve never been one to place too high of a value on looks. I’ve always viewed people from the outside in, even if it’s hard to believe that people really do that. I’ve never dated anyone because of their looks, or turned anyone down because of their looks, and the same goes for friendships. I believe the person you are speaks so much louder than what your outward appearance is. Maybe that’s just me being too philosophical about things, but whatever. It is a fact that not all of us can age like Jennifer Aniston and Johnny Depp. For the most part, everyone’s bodies will change, and falling for a person based on their looks would not be helpful for a lasting relationship because those looks will inevitably disappear; but that’s exactly what I’m afraid of.

What if I fall for someone, and they take one look at what I look like right now, and don’t want to give me the chance to show them who I am. Does that make any sense? Like, I know that I’m a good person, and I personally feel like I have a lot to offer in a friendship and a relationship, but what if no one is able to look past this new exterior that I have?

I know that these thoughts are silly, and that anyone as shallow as someone would have to be to do that wouldn’t be someone that I’d want in my life, but I can’t stop myself from having these insecurities every so often. I now identify myself as fat. I hate having my picture taken now because I don’t want to see what I look like. It holds me back from putting myself out there. It makes me think that no one would ever be interested in me. It makes me feel completely unattractive. It makes me want to hide. It makes me want to just give up.

But as I type this, I’m reminded that just because I may be fat for the time being (I do apologize to anyone that doesn’t like the usage of the term “fat”, it’s just how I feel I want to describe myself in my current state), it won’t necessarily always be the case. I start medication in a week or so, and that could turn things around. I could start to lose the weight, and I could start to regain a sense of normalcy. But I feel like this sense of… I don’t know… this sense of feeling like I’m less than someone else. Like, why would this person choose me, when he could have that girl over there that looks like a Victoria’s Secret model. Do any of you feel the same way sometimes? I know men go through the same feelings at times, which oddly enough makes me feel a little bit better about it.

I’m rambling at this point, I know, but that’s what these Sleepy Sunday posts are for. To give me a platform to ramble through my thoughts, in hopes that I may sort something out in my mind through the act of writing it all down. I haven’t sorted through this one though. I’ve only thrown it all out there for you to absorb. I don’t know what you should take out of it, and I’m more than positive that it was poorly written, but at some point, you just have to put your feelings out there and hope for the best.

By no means do I want anyone reading this to feel bad for me, this isn’t something that I worry about every second of my life, but it is something I wanted to put out there. And by no means do I want anyone to feel like I’m just attention seeking here, because that’s not the case either. The point of it all, is simply that this is my life, and this is something I struggle with, and this is how I feel about it. That’s it. No underlying meanings. No philosophical meaning to be had. Just words. Just the ramblings of a girl, feeling insecure, not able to accept her changing body, and worrying that no one that she’s interested in will be able to look past it. Surely someone out there must understand how that feels.

To end this post on a more positive note, I have been writing a few more posts this weekend that I’m excited to share with you! Two travel inspiration posts, one personal post, and my very first book review post! I can’t wait to get them finished up and posted for you all to read, and I truly hope you enjoy them!

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx

30 Day Writing Challenge | Day 23

Day 23: Write a letter to someone, anyone.


Dear Future Husband,

How are you? Wonderful I hope. I haven’t met you yet, but I hope I do someday soon. Are you the prince charming I dreamt of as a child? Are you Matthew Gray Gubler? Probably not. That’s okay. I obviously love you anyway. Even though I don’t know you yet, I think of you often. I think of how my life could be. Will I still live here in Missouri? Is that where you are from? I don’t know anything about you yet. I don’t know what your sibling’s names are, or if you even have any. I don’t know what your favorite color is, or if you love chocolate as much as me. I don’t know how tall you are, but I do hope I managed to find someone taller than me, that would be lovely, but if you aren’t, that’s fine too. I obviously love you anyway. Do you like to read as much as I do? Do you love your family? Are you a cat person or a dog person? Did you let me have the nerdy wedding of my dreams? Was it the wedding of your dreams as well? I have so many questions for you, ones that I’m sure you have for me as well.

You know that Meghan Trainor song, “Dear Future Husband”? I hate that song. This letter will be nothing like that. I don’t have all these requirements for you or expectations of those sorts for you, but there are some things I hope you are able to do for me. I hope you’re faithful. I’ve seen what cheating can do to a family, and I don’t want to go through it. Please be a good man, though I’m sure you are, I mean, I married you, you must be good. I hope you’re understanding. You must be if you decided to settle down with me. There’s no way you could survive a relationship with me without being understanding. I hope you will treat me the way I should be treated, with kindness and respect, just as I will always do the same for you. I hope you’re a good father. I don’t know if we’ll have our own kids, or if we’ll adopt, but I hope you teach our children all the right things in life. I hope you’ll teach our sons to be good men, giving them the best example to follow. And I hope you’ll show our daughters just how they should be treated. And I hope together, we can instill the best values in our children, and show them all the love and kindness, and sometimes firmness, that we have to offer them. I hope we can teach them to live their lives without hate, and teach them that everyone deserves their best chance in life to be happy, regardless of race, gender, or sexuality; I hope we teach them that people are people, and love is love. I don’t expect you to treat me like a princess everyday of our lives, though that would be nice once in a while, everyone wants to feel special, but I do hope you always treat me like a human being. I hope you value the things I do in life, and I hope you love every part of me, the good and the bad, just as I will of you.

I hope you’re the kind of man that doesn’t base his love on my appearance. I hope you’ll love me no matter how big or small I am, and will support me through any changes that happen in my life, just as I will for you. I hope you’ll be there for me if I get sick, and will hold my hand through any hard times, just as I will for you.

There’s so much I want to say to you, to a man I’ve never met. But I suppose it all can be summed up in three words; I love you. I must do, if I’m marrying you. Do you love me too? Let’s hope so, because you’re stuck with me. I don’t want to be in the percentage of marriages that fail. I want mine to last. So any fights, any bumps in the road, any hardships, I hope we can always remember our love for one another, and that we can work through anything and everything. Love is hard work, but it’s worth it. I hope you let me name our children the names I’ve always wanted, I hope you let me pick the music in the car, I hope you give me foot rubs when I’m feeling upset because that always makes me feel better, I hope you hug me when I’m angry to calm me down, I hope you tell me when I’m acting crazy to help me see straight again, I hope we love each other unconditionally because that’s how it’s supposed to be.

When we’re old and gray, and our kids have moved on, I hope we still feel the same love for each other that we felt on our wedding day, more love if possible. I hope we grow old together. I hope I can make you happy.

I can’t wait to meet you someday, hopefully soon, I’m sure you will be everything I never knew I wanted in a man.


Your Future Wife

30 Day Writing Challenge | Day 22


Day 22: Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that play.

This one, my friends, could get a little embarrassing. I have music on my iPod from ninth grade that I haven’t removed. There is a mess of everything from punk music, to folk music, to jazz, to pop, to fairly heavy rock. I even have children’s songs and Disney music on here, as I am a nanny for two little girls (for those of you wondering, this is my last week as a nanny! I begin my new job that I mentioned on the 29th!). I have no idea what is going to come up when I hit shuffle, but here we go! I’ll try to link youtube videos for the songs that come up, in case you’d like to hear them.🙂 There will be bonus songs at the end because that’s just what I seem to do.

1. Shake it Off- Taylor Swift. I have zero shame with this one, I don’t typically like Taylor Swift’s music all that much, but when I first heard this on the radio I couldn’t help but dance to it. Now it’s one of those songs that I sing loudly (and horribly might I add) when I’m driving around in my car. So damn catchy!

2. Belle (Little Towns)- Beauty and the Beast. This was simultaneously my favorite and least favorite Disney film when I was a little girl. I added a fact to this list of 30 facts about me regarding this topic. When you find it you’ll understand why I had such a love hate relationship with this film. Belle is however, my favorite Disney princess.

3. To Be Alone- Hozier. I love this song. I’d say this must be near the top of my most played list. I really love Hozier in general. He’s been featured on two different posts in my 30 Day Writing Challenge, three now with this one I suppose! His music just grabs a hold of me.

4. Bye Bye Bye- N’Sync. I knew the whole dance to this video as a child. And I have absolutely no shame admitting this to you right now. My crush on Justin Timberlake still hasn’t ended. It might sound crazy but it ain’t no lie baby bye bye bye.

5. Fat Bottomed Girls- Queen. Do I need to explain this one? I’ve listened to queen as long as I can remember, my mom started me questionably early on this stuff, and I love her for it. Just imagine 5 year old me singing this song at the top of my little lungs in the car, inappropriately wonderful.

6. Sweet Child O’ Mine- Guns N Roses. I think this is turning into “let’s take a tour of Lexie’s childhood music favorites” haha, because this is another one that I absolutely love. I would also like to point out that I was born in 1993, not the 80’s, so this music was all brought to be by my mom and brothers. I still get excited when this one pops up on my iPod. You may be surprised at the volume of classic rock songs I’ve got on here amidst my indie music and my pop music haha.

7. Wannabe- Spice Girls. If you want my future, forget my past, If you wanna get with me, better make it fast. Now don’t go wasting my precious time; Get your act together we could be just fine. I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want! Okay, I’ll stop, but this was fun.

8. Perfect- Simple Plan. Oh god… Welcome to my angsty teen years. I’ll just leave this one here. Judge me if you wish haha.

9. With A Little Help From My Friends- The Beatles. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you may have noticed the little references to my love of The Beatles throughout my posts. I formed this love all on my own as a child. No one else in my family were big fans of it, but I found a cassette tape of it in the garage when I was really young and listened to it non-stop. Thanks to my mom for letting me listen to it even though she wasn’t too interested in it!

10. Geronimo- Sheppard. I just like this song. It makes me think of Doctor Who, it is insanely catchy, and I really enjoy his voice. I think the video is absolutely adorable as well. I love when people use their imagination and don’t just have half naked women and liqueur in the background.

BONUS: The next songs that came up were Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars, Budapest by George Ezra, Sunday Morning by Maroon 5, No Scrubs by TLC, Let Her Go by Passenger, Stay by Hurts, and Livin’ On A Prayer by Bon Jovi.

In fact, here, I’m going to leave the video for Livin’ On A Prayer right here, because I’m dancing to it as I’m typing this sentence and I feel like you need to be dancing while you’re reading it.

There you have it, the first 10 songs to come up when playing my iPod on shuffle and then some. Let me know if you like any of the same stuff I do or if you just think I’m weird in the comments below! This post was really fun to write, I enjoy these posts where I share my favorite things or facts about me. I feel like it helps you get to know me a bit better.🙂

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx