Once again, I wanted to start this post out with an explanation of the title, and just what this post is all about. Like I said before, I’ve been thinking of doing some series sorts of posts, and I think I’d like this one to be weekly, written and posted every Sunday. A day where I lay in bed on a Sunday morning, sipping a cup of tea, and just write down what is going through my mind. All along I have wanted this blog to be personal, I’ve wanted it to be a place where I could share my thoughts, feelings, and day-to-day life with whoever wants to listen, and I think this particular series of weekly posts is one way to go about it. I approached a friend and fellow blogger for advice on how to go about blogging and how to stay true to what I wanted when I started this and what he thinks about when working on his blog, and his words really resonated with me. He told me to think about what matters to me, and he said “I think about how I would feel, if I was reading my blog in 50 years time. I’d want to be reading about my memories and feelings, my experiences and my opinions. Think about events in your life that have shaped you. Think about what inspires you now. Think about who you really are. The things around you won’t always be there when you leave home and grow old. The magic will be being able to open up your blog and remembering fondly, all those happy moments. Just be you!” So that’s exactly what I’m going to do. And these Sunday posts will be all of those things wrapped up into one neat little (or extremely large, who knows!) post about the things running through my mind each and every sleepy, snuggly, Sunday morning.
As I lay in bed this morning, with my slightly too hot tea burning my mouth, and my toast leaving a trail of crumbs on my duvet, I can’t help but be happy. Nothing in particular is making me happy today, I suppose it’s just life really. Burning my tongue and making a mess of things isn’t something that would usually start someone’s day off the right way, but for me today it is. I’ve been laying here for an hour now, being completely and absolutely lazy, with no end in sight. Jack Johnson is playing in the background, and the ceiling fan is going full blast in an attempt to counteract the humid heat that’s plaguing me at the moment with summer quickly approaching. As I’m laying here, one topic has been racing through my mind, as it often does, and I just can’t help but wonder what my future holds. Will I ever finish this degree and be finished with college? Will all these student loans kill me like I think they will? Will I ever meet the right guy for me? Does the right guy for me even exist? Where will I be living? Will my dreams of moving to England actually come true, or are they just pipe dreams? Will I have a family? Would I be a good mom? A good wife? A good friend? There are so many questions and thoughts that circle in my mind surrounding this always daunting topic. I often daydream about what my “ideal” future would be, though I say that quite loosely as it is different every time I imagine it. One day I’ll imagine myself being a novelist living in England, in Dorset overlooking the seaside, or in a small village, with a dog and a cat, in a cozy little cottage, living happily waiting for the right guy to come along and sweep me off my feet, eventually starting a family and leisurely traveling the world. Other times I’ll see myself living in busy London, being happily single, working my way up the corporate ladder, but taking time to myself to write and explore the world. Other times still, I just see myself as a nomad, traveling the world, going from place to place, immersing myself into the cultures of the places I’ve been, chronicling my life through books and photographs. All of these variations of my imagined future life would be amazing, but I have to say, the first one would be my favorite. Those sorts of happily ever after scenarios have always been a dream, I mean, who wouldn’t want that? I’ve never wanted a crazy extravagant life, I’ve always been a bit more simple than that. Honestly, all I want in life is to be happy and comfortable. I don’t need a big fancy house, or to be the head of a big corporation, I just need to know that I’ve stayed on the path that I wanted to be on, and that I am well and truly happy with the way my life is going. If someone can say that about their life and mean it, then I’d say that their life has turned out pretty perfectly.
All in all, I’m more than aware that I will never be able to predict my future. But it sure feels nice to dream about it.
I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.