Sleepy Sundays | Don’t call it a comeback

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So, we meet again, you cute little blog you. I’ve missed this, I really have. Sometimes you forget how good something simple like this can feel, just releasing all your thoughts onto a screen, letting anyone that’s willing read everything you’ve decided to share. Life gets in the way, I’m sure you know how it goes. But today, after so much time away, I’m back. Will I stick with it? Make time for something I enjoy in life for once? Who knows, but I appreciate each and every one of you that kept following me, even as I was away for months on end. You’re beautiful and I love you.

Now, with all of that out of the way, let’s chat. After all, that’s what I always wanted to do with this blog. I wanted to get my thoughts out of my head, and written down on paper, even if that was through a keyboard on a public forum. I wanted to talk to people, interact with them, learn from them, get to know them, and become friends with them. So let me just ask, how are you? How are things going? I’m doing well. Things are going okay I suppose, all things considered. Nothing too exciting has happened in my life since we last talked. It may have even grown just a little more monotonous since then, if that’s possible. I’ve fallen into a routine; get up, go to work, come home, go to sleep, and repeat. Monday through Friday, this is my life. I wish I were able to switch it up, to add a little spice to my life. How do you do it? How do you keep your life exciting? Please, share your secrets with me Senpai.

The most exciting thing that happened to me this weekend was when my Amazon order arrived yesterday, containing a new Electric Kettle and some cupboard organizers for all of my tea; who knew life could be filled with so much excitement?! I know I didn’t! All joking aside, I was sincerely thrilled to open up my new kettle, but I digress. Maybe I’m just in a rut? That’s possible I suppose. Or maybe it’s because my birthday is just a few short weeks away, and I’m beginning to feel the pressure that comes along with it. I’ll be 23, which may not sound old or important, but there is a lot of pressure coming along with this birthday. My parent’s think I should be settled down with that “perfect someone”, thinking about getting married and starting a family, my friends think I should already be finished with college and moved into my own place, partying it up. When in reality, I’m 22, living at home, single, fighting to finish this bachelors degree, and working a full-time job that brings no joy or excitement to my life, and chasing Pokemon in my spare time. Oh goodness, this is turning into a very “woe is me” sort of post. I need to change things up, turn it around.

Maybe I should share some things that make me happy, who knows, maybe that will pull me out of this little funk I seem to be in at the moment.

One seemingly unusual thing that always makes me happy is a strange one to describe. I suppose its essentially just the wind, but it’s much more than that to me. I love that feeling, when you’re sitting outside on a slightly cooler night, in-between the summer heat and the autumn chill, reading or just watching the world go by, when the wind sweeps across your face and you feel completely calm and safe, even if just for a moment. It makes me so happy to know that moments like that exist.

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My cat is also another point of sheer happiness for me. I mean, just look at her! Look at that face! She has this way of knowing when I need her. She’s always so quick to come and snuggle with me when I’m feeling down, or ill, or upset. Even when she’s being obnoxious, or irritating, she still has a way of making me feel so genuinely happy, all the way to my core, no matter what. For instance, she is currently laying on my chest, partially blocking my access to the keyboard on my laptop, and just being a general pain, and I still smile like a fool each time I look down at her sweet little face snuggled up against my arm.

As much as my family has a tendency to be a bit overbearing and hard to handle, I’m still filled with happiness each time I remember how lucky I am to have them. After the horrible events in France, TexasMinnesota, Louisiana, Turkey, and so many more these past few weeks, I’m feeling even luckier than usual to have my family, and to know that I have people out there to fall back on and lean on when things get tough. They are all absolutely insane, pushy, and ridiculous, but I couldn’t imagine my life without them.

Lastly, one of the things that makes me happiest; daydreaming. I’ve always loved the fact that we’ve all got this ability, this superpower, to transport ourselves to another time or place in our own minds. We’re all equipped with our own mental T.A.R.D.I.S, if you will. If I’m unhappy, or feeling stuck, or sad, or anything in between, I can simply imagine that my life will take a different turn in the future, or imagine that I’ve stumbled into a new place, or just lay back, and let my daydreams guide me. There’s no limit to the amount of things I can accomplish in a daydream. No one cares how I look in a daydream. There’s no body shaming, there’s no cruelty, and there’s no fear. It’s a completely pure space, untainted by the outside world, and it is one of my biggest sources of happiness.

And with that my friends, this Sleepy Sunday post has come to a close, and I’ll have to drag myself out of bed to start my day. My tea is gone and my cup is dry. I hope you enjoyed reading this ramble that I’ve decided to put out onto the internet, and that you found something to take with you from it. Whether that be something life changing, like learning your daydreams are a T.A.R.D.I.S, or simply just the memory of how adorable my cat is, I hope you’ve had a lovely few moments here with me.

Please feel free to leave me a comment and chat with me, or check out the “Contact Me” page to send me an email. I would love to hear from you and get to know you.

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx

 

 

 

12 Autumnal Goals

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Earlier this year, I did a post entitled “20 Summer Goals” where I listed, you guessed it, 20 goals that I wanted to complete over the summer. I didn’t make it through all the goals, but I made it through some of them, and I honestly had a really good time doing it. Making that list gave me something to look forward to over the summer that helped me look past the burning heat and the long days. After the summer, I wasn’t planning to make any more goals for myself or anything like that, but this morning I felt really inspired to do it. I think it may just become a habit for me, to give myself inspiration to get out and do things throughout each part of the year rather than getting stuck in a rut and letting the year pass me by without taking advantage of all of it. All of the photos throughout this post were taken in or around Grand Marais, Minnesota. Grand Marais is my favorite place to be in the Autumn. Just looking at these pictures brings back so many wonderful memories that I’ve made there over the years, and it felt quite fitting to put a few of them in this post filled with inspiration for myself.
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1. Go to a pumpkin patch.

2. Go apple picking.

3. Bake something new.

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4. Carve pumpkins.

5. Go on a walk/hike in 3 new places.

6. Watch 5 scary movies.

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7. Read 6 new books, in at least 3 different genres.

8. Go on an adventure.

9. Work on more photography.

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10. Write at least 1 blog post each week, if not more.

11. Put myself out there more, let more people in.

12. Explore the city, and document it.

As you can see, some of these goals are ones that I can (and hopefully will!) blog, and others aren’t, but the ones that are blogable, are the ones I’m most excited about. Some of these goals are the most standard of things. Things that people say they want to do every time Fall rolls around. Cliches. But that fact aside, they are all things that I haven’t done since I was a little kid, and I really want to try and do them again. I want to make memories, because when it comes down to it, memories are all that matter. And if there ever comes a time when I can’t remember these things anymore, I like to think I’ll be able to come back to this blog, and relive these moments.

So here is me, wishing myself good luck in completing each one of these goals. I hope you will enjoy sharing these moments with me, and if you yourself decide to create your own goals this Fall, please let me know or tag me in them so I can follow along with you! I hope it can give you inspiration and help you create memories of your own.

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx

30 Day Writing Challenge | Day 23

Day 23: Write a letter to someone, anyone.

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Dear Future Husband,

How are you? Wonderful I hope. I haven’t met you yet, but I hope I do someday soon. Are you the prince charming I dreamt of as a child? Are you Matthew Gray Gubler? Probably not. That’s okay. I obviously love you anyway. Even though I don’t know you yet, I think of you often. I think of how my life could be. Will I still live here in Missouri? Is that where you are from? I don’t know anything about you yet. I don’t know what your sibling’s names are, or if you even have any. I don’t know what your favorite color is, or if you love chocolate as much as me. I don’t know how tall you are, but I do hope I managed to find someone taller than me, that would be lovely, but if you aren’t, that’s fine too. I obviously love you anyway. Do you like to read as much as I do? Do you love your family? Are you a cat person or a dog person? Did you let me have the nerdy wedding of my dreams? Was it the wedding of your dreams as well? I have so many questions for you, ones that I’m sure you have for me as well.

You know that Meghan Trainor song, “Dear Future Husband”? I hate that song. This letter will be nothing like that. I don’t have all these requirements for you or expectations of those sorts for you, but there are some things I hope you are able to do for me. I hope you’re faithful. I’ve seen what cheating can do to a family, and I don’t want to go through it. Please be a good man, though I’m sure you are, I mean, I married you, you must be good. I hope you’re understanding. You must be if you decided to settle down with me. There’s no way you could survive a relationship with me without being understanding. I hope you will treat me the way I should be treated, with kindness and respect, just as I will always do the same for you. I hope you’re a good father. I don’t know if we’ll have our own kids, or if we’ll adopt, but I hope you teach our children all the right things in life. I hope you’ll teach our sons to be good men, giving them the best example to follow. And I hope you’ll show our daughters just how they should be treated. And I hope together, we can instill the best values in our children, and show them all the love and kindness, and sometimes firmness, that we have to offer them. I hope we can teach them to live their lives without hate, and teach them that everyone deserves their best chance in life to be happy, regardless of race, gender, or sexuality; I hope we teach them that people are people, and love is love. I don’t expect you to treat me like a princess everyday of our lives, though that would be nice once in a while, everyone wants to feel special, but I do hope you always treat me like a human being. I hope you value the things I do in life, and I hope you love every part of me, the good and the bad, just as I will of you.

I hope you’re the kind of man that doesn’t base his love on my appearance. I hope you’ll love me no matter how big or small I am, and will support me through any changes that happen in my life, just as I will for you. I hope you’ll be there for me if I get sick, and will hold my hand through any hard times, just as I will for you.

There’s so much I want to say to you, to a man I’ve never met. But I suppose it all can be summed up in three words; I love you. I must do, if I’m marrying you. Do you love me too? Let’s hope so, because you’re stuck with me. I don’t want to be in the percentage of marriages that fail. I want mine to last. So any fights, any bumps in the road, any hardships, I hope we can always remember our love for one another, and that we can work through anything and everything. Love is hard work, but it’s worth it. I hope you let me name our children the names I’ve always wanted, I hope you let me pick the music in the car, I hope you give me foot rubs when I’m feeling upset because that always makes me feel better, I hope you hug me when I’m angry to calm me down, I hope you tell me when I’m acting crazy to help me see straight again, I hope we love each other unconditionally because that’s how it’s supposed to be.

When we’re old and gray, and our kids have moved on, I hope we still feel the same love for each other that we felt on our wedding day, more love if possible. I hope we grow old together. I hope I can make you happy.

I can’t wait to meet you someday, hopefully soon, I’m sure you will be everything I never knew I wanted in a man.

Love,

Your Future Wife

30 Day Writing Challenge | Day 19

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Day 19: Discuss your first love.

As I’ve said in previous posts, I don’t feel like I’ve ever been in love with another person romantically, and I think that’s what this prompt is referring to. So I can’t really blog about that for you. I wish I could say that there was a high school sweetheart or a college love, but I’ve not had that. I’ve had plenty of boyfriends, but none that amounted to real love. Instead of writing about that, I’m going to write about a few other “first love” situations.

When I was really young, as young as 3 and 4, I loved maps and puzzles. I would put together map puzzles of the world and of various countries, and would tell everyone about all the different places I could see. This was the point that my United Kingdom love affair began. I did my UK puzzle over and over and over again until it basically fell apart. Apparently I loved the shapes and colors of it and didn’t want to do any others. Once that was destroyed, I was given little books and things by family about the UK and all things British; they all found it so funny that I had this little obsession as a toddler. Eventually, as I grew older, I began learning about the history, the monarchy, and the geography of the countries and fell even more in love. Aside from that, I gained a real love for geography from my map and puzzle obsession. I don’t know that there is a subject (aside from writing and literature) that I excelled in more.

Reading. I can’t think of a time in my life that didn’t revolve around books and reading. I can remember vividly being read to as a child, all the time. I was lucky enough to have been taught to read at an early age, before entering school, so I was reading at a higher level than most of my peers as I grew. I may be absolutely crap at math, but reading is something I can most assuredly say I am spectacular at. The first “real” book I ever read on my own was Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, and I was hooked. I have read all the books in the series cover to cover more times than I can count. It was an outlet for me, to be able to jump into a magical world so vastly different from my own when things got particularly hard at home or when I wasn’t having the best time socially at school. I didn’t have the simplest childhood or teen years, but books and my imagination helped me through it. Reading will always be a part of my life, from my “first love” book of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, to every book I’ve read since then, they have all inspired me in their own ways.

Lastly, my niece and nephew. I didn’t have the best family life growing up. Nothing was very stable, there were a lot of fights, and things just weren’t very pleasant at times. I wasn’t really sure what love was when I was young. I was never sure whether or not my family loved me, or if I loved them even. It was all really complicated. But the day my niece was born, and I was able to hold her and experience her very first day in the world with her, I knew what love was. I was only ten, but I knew that she was going to be someone very special in my life. I didn’t think it was possible to ever love anyone as much as I loved that chunky little monkey, but then her brother was born, and I fell just as in love with his sweet little face the moment I saw him as I did with my niece. Those two absolutely mad children are my whole world, and I couldn’t be happier that they are the people that helped me realize what love really is.

How about you, have you ever been in love? I’d love to hear about it.

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx

Sleepy Sundays | What will my future be like?

Once again, I wanted to start this post out with an explanation of the title, and just what this post is all about. Like I said before, I’ve been thinking of doing some series sorts of posts, and I think I’d like this one to be weekly, written and posted every Sunday. A day where I lay in bed on a Sunday morning, sipping a cup of tea, and just write down what is going through my mind. All along I have wanted this blog to be personal, I’ve wanted it to be a place where I could share my thoughts, feelings, and day-to-day life with whoever wants to listen, and I think this particular series of weekly posts is one way to go about it. I approached a friend and fellow blogger for advice on how to go about blogging and how to stay true to what I wanted when I started this and what he thinks about when working on his blog, and his words really resonated with me. He told me to think about what matters to me, and he said “I think about how I would feel, if I was reading my blog in 50 years time. I’d want to be reading about my memories and feelings, my experiences and my opinions. Think about events in your life that have shaped you. Think about what inspires you now. Think about who you really are. The things around you won’t always be there when you leave home and grow old. The magic will be being able to open up your blog and remembering fondly, all those happy moments. Just be you!” So that’s exactly what I’m going to do. And these Sunday posts will be all of those things wrapped up into one neat little (or extremely large, who knows!) post about the things running through my mind each and every sleepy, snuggly, Sunday morning.

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As I lay in bed this morning, with my slightly too hot tea burning my mouth, and my toast leaving a trail of crumbs on my duvet, I can’t help but be happy. Nothing in particular is making me happy today, I suppose it’s just life really. Burning my tongue and making a mess of things isn’t something that would usually start someone’s day off the right way, but for me today it is. I’ve been laying here for an hour now, being completely and absolutely lazy, with no end in sight. Jack Johnson is playing in the background, and the ceiling fan is going full blast in an attempt to counteract the humid heat that’s plaguing me at the moment with summer quickly approaching. As I’m laying here, one topic has been racing through my mind, as it often does, and I just can’t help but wonder what my future holds. Will I ever finish this degree and be finished with college? Will all these student loans kill me like I think they will? Will I ever meet the right guy for me? Does the right guy for me even exist? Where will I be living? Will my dreams of moving to England actually come true, or are they just pipe dreams? Will I have a family? Would I be a good mom? A good wife? A good friend? There are so many questions and thoughts that circle in my mind surrounding this always daunting topic. I often daydream about what my “ideal” future would be, though I say that quite loosely as it is different every time I imagine it. One day I’ll imagine myself being a novelist living in England, in Dorset overlooking the seaside, or in a small village, with a dog and a cat, in a cozy little cottage, living happily waiting for the right guy to come along and sweep me off my feet, eventually starting a family and leisurely traveling the world. Other times I’ll see myself living in busy London, being happily single, working my way up the corporate ladder, but taking time to myself to write and explore the world. Other times still, I just see myself as a nomad, traveling the world, going from place to place, immersing myself into the cultures of the places I’ve been, chronicling my life through books and photographs. All of these variations of my imagined future life would be amazing, but I have to say, the first one would be my favorite. Those sorts of happily ever after scenarios have always been a dream, I mean, who wouldn’t want that? I’ve never wanted a crazy extravagant life, I’ve always been a bit more simple than that. Honestly, all I want in life is to be happy and comfortable. I don’t need a big fancy house, or to be the head of a big corporation, I just need to know that I’ve stayed on the path that I wanted to be on, and that I am well and truly happy with the way my life is going. If someone can say that about their life and mean it, then I’d say that their life has turned out pretty perfectly.

All in all, I’m more than aware that I will never be able to predict my future. But it sure feels nice to dream about it.

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx