30 Day Writing Challenge | Day 8

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Day 8: Share something you struggle with.

As any other human, there is an abundance of things that I struggle with. As you’re reading this, I am either about to go to, currently at,or have gotten home from a job interview. A huge job interview. One of those interviews that could make your life 1000 times different if you succeed, or knock you back 1000 feet if you fail. This brings me right to something that I struggle with; Fear. I’m absolutely terrified of this interview, and I don’t really know how to make this fear go away. I’ve tried to take the pressure off, telling myself that it’s really not that big of a deal, and that I’ll be just fine if it doesn’t work out, but I don’t know if I truly believe that. If I land this job, it means I’ll be making a significant amount of money compared to what I’m making currently, and that would push me really far in the right direction. If I were able to make more money, I’d be able to save so much more, and that’s something I really need to do if I want to travel or move to another country someday. I know that money isn’t what’s important in life, but it really does make following the dreams I have a whole lot easier.

I’ve spent the past week studying up on the company, searching the internet for interview tips, hunting down the right “interview appropriate” outfit, everything, all in hopes to land this job and move a step closer to  following my dreams. This job isn’t just about the money for me, its also about my career, or lack thereof. I know that a lot of 21 year old’s aren’t worried about a career or gaining experience in their field of work, but I really am. I have an end goal, and that end goal is to be happy. One of the things that I think will make me happy is to move to a new place, one that I love, one that feels more like home than my current “home” ever has, and in order to do that, I’m going to need a job there, and in order to get a job there I’m going to need a lot of experience and as many connections as I can possibly get. And for that, I’m willing to work hard. But fear seems to always creep it’s way into my mind.

I mentioned this subject to a friend the other day, about how fear is one of the big things stopping me from following my dreams and goals. Fear of doing things alone, fear of not having a safety net. I have no idea how to get over fear, and fear is what causes my anxiety. It is a horrible cycle. And it is something that I struggle with constantly.

Do any of you struggle with similar things? Do you think fear or anxiety hold you back? How do you cope with it? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below. Along with any motivation or positive vibes you can give me about this job interview, chances are that I am sitting at home, internally freaking out about whether or not they will call me and tell me I got the job. Fingers crossed I don’t bomb the whole interview!

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx