Sleepy Sundays | I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22

My brother and I, at my first birthday, August 7th, 1994.  Yes, I still eat cake that way.
My brother and I, at my first birthday, August 7th, 1994.
Yes, I still eat cake that way.

Birthdays. What can you say about them really? Some people love them and some people hate them, but I for one, fall into the “love” group wholeheartedly (for the most part). I am not someone that dreads getting older or has an existential crisis every time their birthday rolls around, but I am someone that does a lot of contemplating and thinking when this day comes back around each year.

I'm pretty sure I saw a girl leaving Starbucks wearing this exact sunflower dress yesterday. The baby version of me was such a trendsetter.
I’m pretty sure I saw a girl leaving Starbucks wearing this exact sunflower dress yesterday.
The baby version of me was such a trendsetter.

Friday, August 7th, was my birthday. I spent it with friends and family having one of my favorite meals, eating yummy cupcakes, enjoying more than a few cocktails, and reminiscing about life and all the birthdays I’ve celebrated before this one. Every year for at least the last 5 years or so, I sit down, and just think. I think about all the things I have or haven’t done this past year, I think about the chances I took and the ones I let slip by, I think of all the happy and sad times, and I think of what I expected life to be at this moment. I always have a clear picture of what I want my life to be and where I want to end up, and coming to terms with the fact that I have no control over those things is a tough one for me. Well, I wouldn’t say that I have absolutely no control, but there are many things that just happen how they are mean’t to in life, and there’s not much you can do about it.

This is still the face I make when someone asks me to "smile for the camera!"
This is still the face I make when someone asks me to “smile for the camera!”

In a perfect world* (from the point of view of a daydreaming, introverted, bookworm that has an intense love for adventure and smiles), I would be travelling right now. Making the most of my youth, exploring all the places I’ve written about on this blog and many, many more. I would be standing on top of a mountain in Greece, staring off into the ocean contently thinking about where I’ll go next and what places I want to see. I’d be writing every day, and putting it all out there for the world to see. I’d never worry about money or material things, because who needs that when you have so much to see and do in life? Books would never be far from my hands and a smile would never be far from my face. I’d be happy, in the purest sense of the word.

But it isn’t my perfect world. Instead, I’m a struggling student, working a full-time, at a supremely boring and mundane office job, while tackling a full-time course load. I’m stuck in midwestern Missouri in the middle of America, with no funds to get out. I’m drowning myself in student loan debt in hopes of giving myself a better future. I’m boyfriendless and single in a place where that is a rarity. I’m not fit and healthy, as I would so love to be. I’m not writing everyday or living out my passions and dreams. But one thing that I realized on my birthday this year, is that I am happy. In the purest sense of the word. And that is all that matters to me right now. I may not be where I’ve dreamt of being in life, but I’m happy. I’m meeting new people and making new friends all the time. I’m exploring my own city and creating my own adventures. I’m writing a lot more than I used to, even if all of that writing is still sitting in my drafts folder and hasn’t been posted here.

This is one of many football team related photoshoots that my parents forced upon me as a child. American parents and their sports, you can't get away from it.
This is one of many football team related photoshoots that my parents forced upon me as a child. American parents and their sports, you can’t get away from it.

This birthday has shown me that I don’t always need to be in control. I can still lead a happy life, even if it isn’t what I expected it to be. Even when I have hard days, and bad days, and even on those days where I just want to sit on the floor and cry from all the stress, it will all be worth it in the end, and it is all worth it right this moment, just for those days where I am filled with pure happiness.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the little glimpses into my life and child hood throughout this post with the random photographs I’ve decided to throw in. What’s a good birthday post without a little bit of a throw back.

I will leave you now, as I always should, with a quote from Harry Potter.

What’s comin’ will come, an’ we’ll meet it when it does. -Rubeus Hagrid, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, page 719

And now, at the very end, you get me, in my current state. Hair that somehow always manages to be untidy at all times, Superhero t-shirts, and a cat in the background.
And now, at the very end, you get me, in my current state. Hair that somehow always manages to be untidy at all times, Superhero t-shirts, and a cat in the background.

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx

30 Day Writing Challenge | Day 22

(Source)
(Source)

Day 22: Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that play.

This one, my friends, could get a little embarrassing. I have music on my iPod from ninth grade that I haven’t removed. There is a mess of everything from punk music, to folk music, to jazz, to pop, to fairly heavy rock. I even have children’s songs and Disney music on here, as I am a nanny for two little girls (for those of you wondering, this is my last week as a nanny! I begin my new job that I mentioned on the 29th!). I have no idea what is going to come up when I hit shuffle, but here we go! I’ll try to link youtube videos for the songs that come up, in case you’d like to hear them. 🙂 There will be bonus songs at the end because that’s just what I seem to do.

1. Shake it Off- Taylor Swift. I have zero shame with this one, I don’t typically like Taylor Swift’s music all that much, but when I first heard this on the radio I couldn’t help but dance to it. Now it’s one of those songs that I sing loudly (and horribly might I add) when I’m driving around in my car. So damn catchy!

2. Belle (Little Towns)- Beauty and the Beast. This was simultaneously my favorite and least favorite Disney film when I was a little girl. I added a fact to this list of 30 facts about me regarding this topic. When you find it you’ll understand why I had such a love hate relationship with this film. Belle is however, my favorite Disney princess.

3. To Be Alone- Hozier. I love this song. I’d say this must be near the top of my most played list. I really love Hozier in general. He’s been featured on two different posts in my 30 Day Writing Challenge, three now with this one I suppose! His music just grabs a hold of me.

4. Bye Bye Bye- N’Sync. I knew the whole dance to this video as a child. And I have absolutely no shame admitting this to you right now. My crush on Justin Timberlake still hasn’t ended. It might sound crazy but it ain’t no lie baby bye bye bye.

5. Fat Bottomed Girls- Queen. Do I need to explain this one? I’ve listened to queen as long as I can remember, my mom started me questionably early on this stuff, and I love her for it. Just imagine 5 year old me singing this song at the top of my little lungs in the car, inappropriately wonderful.

6. Sweet Child O’ Mine- Guns N Roses. I think this is turning into “let’s take a tour of Lexie’s childhood music favorites” haha, because this is another one that I absolutely love. I would also like to point out that I was born in 1993, not the 80’s, so this music was all brought to be by my mom and brothers. I still get excited when this one pops up on my iPod. You may be surprised at the volume of classic rock songs I’ve got on here amidst my indie music and my pop music haha.

7. Wannabe- Spice Girls. If you want my future, forget my past, If you wanna get with me, better make it fast. Now don’t go wasting my precious time; Get your act together we could be just fine. I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want! Okay, I’ll stop, but this was fun.

8. Perfect- Simple Plan. Oh god… Welcome to my angsty teen years. I’ll just leave this one here. Judge me if you wish haha.

9. With A Little Help From My Friends- The Beatles. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you may have noticed the little references to my love of The Beatles throughout my posts. I formed this love all on my own as a child. No one else in my family were big fans of it, but I found a cassette tape of it in the garage when I was really young and listened to it non-stop. Thanks to my mom for letting me listen to it even though she wasn’t too interested in it!

10. Geronimo- Sheppard. I just like this song. It makes me think of Doctor Who, it is insanely catchy, and I really enjoy his voice. I think the video is absolutely adorable as well. I love when people use their imagination and don’t just have half naked women and liqueur in the background.

BONUS: The next songs that came up were Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars, Budapest by George Ezra, Sunday Morning by Maroon 5, No Scrubs by TLC, Let Her Go by Passenger, Stay by Hurts, and Livin’ On A Prayer by Bon Jovi.

In fact, here, I’m going to leave the video for Livin’ On A Prayer right here, because I’m dancing to it as I’m typing this sentence and I feel like you need to be dancing while you’re reading it.

There you have it, the first 10 songs to come up when playing my iPod on shuffle and then some. Let me know if you like any of the same stuff I do or if you just think I’m weird in the comments below! This post was really fun to write, I enjoy these posts where I share my favorite things or facts about me. I feel like it helps you get to know me a bit better. 🙂

I hope you’re doing well, where ever you are in the world, and I wish you all the best.

-Lexie Xx